so today i didn't really go to sleep from the night before. i was grating green mangoes and sort of watching "the great escape" when the dogs started barking; outside of the kitchen window i could see a five-foot long snake threading through the chain link fence. chickenshit dogs were waiting for me to do something about it, so ran behind me at a safe distance as i went out there with my golf club and practiced my swing on its head. unfortunately, quite difficult to bash in head against wire fence, but got a few damaging blows in there. i think i unhinged its jaw a bit as it was slack. and the head was tiny compared to its rather fat body. i should have pulled it down and given it a goodfellas sort of whacking, but i really didn't feel like dealing with it at that point. it slowly slid away again, but i don't give its chances for survival as high, considering i think that part of its skull is cracked. well, maybe. you never know.

***

grant's funeral was today. i would have never have guessed that his death would affect me more than say, kurt cobain's. i guess it's because i've stayed loyal to the go-betweens, supported them even when i didn't really like the music (although i did like the last album), and regularly listen to the back catalog. some of the best concerts i've ever seen were theirs--slane castle in dublin, wembly arena in london opening for R.E.M., mccabe's in santa monica, rhino records in westwood, the palace. some of the most memorable times i've had were spent with amanda, lindy, robert, and robert. so weird that i had met other go-betweenies but never grant himself. i guess i could never have, i would have been too awestruck at his talent and words. maybe if i write more on this blog i might hope to occasionally come up with something that has a shadow of the quiet evocative grace in imagery that his lyrics conjured.

i really thought there would be more music from him. i thought the music, like love, would go on. i suppose it does, but i'm sad that there won't be new songs, and i'll never see that quiet man with his quiet heart again.